It is eight in the morning on a Tuesday and my head is already aching for a release of thoughts that had been running in circles.
This is me writing my most personal thoughts straight into this blog.
2020 had only been here for six days and it has already been a whirlwind of emotions for me. I thought it was going to be just like any other New Year I've had: celebrate, longing for another vacation, and dragging myself back to reality. But I was wrong.
To be honest with the deepest parts of myself, I have been feeling very anxious lately. First and foremost, I have to share that this holiday has been a different experience for me. It was surprisingly a joyous season and I've spent it with my loved ones. I've come to discover more of myself from the people around me.
For the longest time, I have instilled in my mind that I am living my life for myself. But I've discovered that I am able to open up and share my life with the people who are important to me. I want to take care of them like the way they care of me. I have been willing to compromise, communicate, and ask myself to change my wrong ways.
I ended the decade with a lot of realizations. Everything was on a positive note. I thought that I would calmly slide into 2020.
But life always proves us wrong.
Just 48 hours into this decade, I received sad news. It wasn't for me directly but for a person close to my heart. It hit me with the reality that life is truly just a wink of an eye. All of us could be gone any second.
If you are also up to date with the news, Australia has been burning for so long. World War Three is trending on Twitter. And the people I love are losing the people they love. Things from the past keep popping up and that is out my control. The only thing I could do is to accept and focus on the present and the future.
For the past few days, I've been waking up earlier than my usual time. I find it weird and unsettling. Because I wanted to sleep in and make the most of my remaining vacation. After waking up, I couldn't sit still and mope. I wanted to move. Do something with my time. And felt like the clock was ticking. I can feel the pressure in my bones.
I think this is preparation. I have to prepare because I am looking forward to so many things this year!
This is me willing to change my ways little by little. Step by step. I've never really gotten into making a list of "New Year's Resolution". Maybe it's because I am too scared or too lazy to change myself. But now here I am finally making one. I just want to clarify to you my reader, and to my future self, that all that is listed below is not a one-time big-time thing. Change is progressive. So I am calling it a "New Decade's Resolution".
This year I am entering my mid-twenties. It's time for a couple of resetting and changing my usual ways. Hence, this is my list and it shall remind my future self.
NEW DECADE'S RESOLUTION
Be prayerful.
For many years, attending a Sunday mass is unlikely. But keep yourself closer to your faith. Create a closer bond. Keep being thankful. Keep sending out your heartfelt gratitude. He is listening. Thank your Mom for her constant reminders. Thank Him for keeping his presence through your parents.
Look on the bright side and be positive.
We have ZERO time for negativity. When all else fails, close your eyes, inhale deeply, and move on.
Eat healthily.
You've started this in 2019 to avoid complications in your tonsils. More water. Fewer sweets. And no ice cream! Keep it up!
Workout. Push yourself!
The fittest and healthiest version of yourself is waiting. You've also started this in 2019. Probably in 2018! Or was it 2017? Anyway, from there, improvement and consistency are the things you need to work on.
Save money!
You know what this is for. Your future self will thank you.
Take it one step at a time.
Don't forget to breathe. Life sure is quick. But you need to breathe. You are able.
Be a loving, understanding, and honest partner.
Work out things together. Think about what is always best for both of you.
Avoid hatred in your heart.
Thinking the best for people always feels better.
Bring out your confidence.
When people tell you that you are beautiful, take the compliment and say your thanks! You worked hard for it. You've been waking up to face the world with a smile despite the hardships. And that makes you more than amazing. So own it!
And when you achieve all of these things, keep yourself humble.
Do not forget to thank yourself for being consistent. And do not forget to thank the people around you. They were there for you. And will always be. Remind them of your gratitude. Because the world was made for helping out each other.
It can only get better from here. Time to work on this!
Positive and hopeful,
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